“Help a radio personality get a laugh, you’ve done a good deed. Help a radio personality get 625 laughs, you’re guaranteed a place in Heaven.”
     — Ancient Chinese Proverb

Dan O’Day presents

f you’re a radio personality who does any kind of comedy or humor on your show, here’s something you really need to think about:

Your comedy or humor isn’t being compared to that of other “disc jockeys” or “presenters” or “radio hosts.”

Your listeners compare the comedy and humor they hear on your program to that of their favorite comedians and humorists.

As a friend of mine eloquently says, in today’s multimedia world “all messages swim in the same ocean.”

If you have a sense of humor and the ability to use it to make your listeners smile, laugh, chuckle or guffaw, by all means you should use it.

Just remember, your listeners will not cut you a break by thinking, “Well, that wasn’t really very funny. But I guess for a disc jockey it’s okay.”

Because they’re not comparing you to other radio personalities. They’re comparing you to the funniest stuff they encounter in all the mass media.

I certainly am not warning you to avoid humor.

Heck, it was my use of humor and comedy that made me successful as a jock (about 150 years ago) and then made me semi-famous to radio people when I launched my own two comedy services.

I’m simply suggesting that you make every reasonable effort to make sure that when you attempt to do something funny, it comes across the speakers as funny.

Unless you’re one of the few radio people with a big enough budget to hire some great comedy writers, most likely you have to come up with almost all of your own material.

Comedy Sponsor Lines won’t relieve you of the burden of constantly creating new material, but it sure will help.

Comedy Sponsor Lines contains 625 funny fake sponsor lines.

Slip one in between songs....

Use one when coming out of the News....

Play (or read) one whenever you want to sneak a chuckle in between your listeners’ ears.

This portion of (ED JOCK) is being brought to you by Ed’s Discount Department Store, where you’re sure to receive a friendly smile and a cheery “hello” with any minimum five dollar purchase. This portion of (ED JOCK) is being brought to you by Ed’s Pesticide-Free Ant & Roach Killer. Yes, at last modern technology has produced an ant & roach killer that contains absolutely no harmful chemicals or pollutants. Just press the nozzle on the can and it will signal our crack squad of exterminators, who will charge into your home armed with rolled-up magazines. So throw away that bug zapper! Dispose of those immoral roach motels! Bid adieu to your No-Pest Strip! Get Ed’s Pesticide-Free And & Roach Killer — the environmentalist’s choice. This portion of (ED JOCK) is being brought to you by Phillips Milk of Amnesia, the over-the-counter remedy that works so well you’ll never remember why you used it in the first place. This portion of (ED JOCK) is being brought to you by Uncle Ed, the Pizza Prince. Remember, Uncle Ed delivers pizza that’s guaranteed to be piping hot. His guarantee is simple: If one of the Pizza Prince’s semi-trained, underpaid delivery persons arrives at your door and your pizza isn’t piping hot, you can heat it up in your own oven at absolutely no extra charge. This portion of (ED JOCK) is being brought to you by Ed’s Chocolate Covered Caffeine Pills, the only calorie-laden non-prescription stimulant especially formulated to keep you up all night, worrying about how fat you’re getting. This portion of (ED JOCK) is being brought to you by Honest Ed’s Used Cars, the only used cars backed by Ed’s exclusive End-of-the Century Guarantee. Yes, if your Ed’s Used Car breaks down within the first 30 days of purchase, Ed guarantees he’ll repair it some time before the end of this century. That’s Honest Ed’s Used Cars — and remember, we wouldn’t call him “Honest” if we didn’t think it would be good for business.

Is Comedy Sponsor Lines right for you?

If none of the above samples makes you smile, don’t order this book.

If you did smile a couple of times, then for you it’s a bargain.

And at less than a nickel each, how can you go wrong??

Download your copy now for just $27

“But wait, there’s more....”

No, I can’t offer you free steak knives. But how about a...

I’ve written another book for radio pro’s like you:

Comedy Commercials.

It contains 95 off-the-wall, fake commercials.

How do they differ from Comedy Sponsor Lines?

They’re not “sponsor lines.” They are completely stand-alone fake commercials — ideal for prerecording with all the production value you would give to a real commercial.

Here’s one of them....

SCREW-ON HAIRPIECE Are you tired of strong breezes blowing your toupee off your head? Then you should try Ed’s New Screw-On Hairpiece, the only toupee that actually screws right onto your skull — kind of like the lid to a mayonnaise jar. Just think: After some nearly painless cranial surgery, soon you’ll be able to walk down the street with your head held high — without ever again having to wear that embarrassing chin strap. That’s Ed’s New Screw-On Hairpiece — it keeps you from flipping your lid.

With Comedy Commercials, I was faced with a difficult choice.

I knew that for radio people who understand comedy and use lots of it on their programs, I could easily charge $95 for this book.

A dollar for a finished, stand-alone comedy commercial script? For radio comedy pro’s, it would be a no-brainer.

But....

I also recognized that for many underpaid radio folks (I realize that for most of us, “underpaid radio folks” is a tad redundant), $95 would seem expensive.

So my other choice was to drop the price and sell a lot more copies.

But I couldn’t bring myself to do that. “It’s a bargain at $95,” I stubbornly declared.

Finally, I hit upon the solution:

Rather than price it too high for some radio folks....

....Or price it too low for my conscience to allow....

....I would give it away, for a limited time, to anyone who purchases Comedy Sponsor Lines.

That’s right: I will give you a $95 book as a free bonus when you order Comedy Sponsor Lines.
     (My attorney is making me say this part: There’s a good chance I’ll eventually come to my senses and withdraw this $95 bonus offer. So if one day you return to this page and don’t see this offer of the free $95 bonus book, please don’t get mad at me. And don’t try to sue me, 'cause this official disclaimer is my ironclad legal protection.)

Download your copy now for just $27

Comedy Sponsor Lines is a 149-page e-book (PDF format), available for immediate download. It sells for $27.

Comedy Commercials is a 100-page e-book (PDF format), available for immediate download. Although it usually sells for $95, I will give it to you as a free bonus with your Comedy Sponsor Lines order.

Your books can be read (and printed) from any computer that has Acrobat Reader (Version 4.0 or higher).

If you don’t have Acrobat Reader, you can download it for FREE from:
      http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep.html

Download your copy now for just $27

Immediate delivery! When you submit your order, you’ll be able to download these two radio comedy books instantly!

Download your copy now for just $27